Thursday, 15 October 2015
ARE YOU REALLY INDEPENDEND MINDED?
In life we are prone to make mistakes. One can make a mistake that is tantamount to causing others harm or a mistake that can only lead to self destruction In other terms we can say that "to err is human." However in real sense there is still more beyond erring that is human. Indeed there is perfectly more human sense before and beyond erring than there is in erring itself. So we can only say that erring is human but not perfectly human.
In life we have standards and norms. These so called standards and norms are the yardstick against which we are judged by society. This yardstick is different from one community to the other, from one society to the other, from one family to the other and from one hood to the other. However we also acknowledge that in life we must also have deviants. Deviants are just a natural phenomena in any system and every system has its own way of dealing with its deviants. That is what makes the system whole. Any deviation that can cause individual harm can also cause harm to the whole system.
We can only conclude that there is no perfect system or no perfect component within any system. That is why there are checks and balances, monitoring and evaluation. However good and bad are only relative to individual, society, family, community, organisation or system in question. All this can be very confusing and can put humanity at great conflict with each other.
One of the human needs we learnt at school is the need to be loved or to be likeable. This very need conflicts in actual sense with the desire for one self to be independent minded. Indeed even those who claim to be independent minded only do so in word but not in deed. Society has been coined in such a manner that real independent mindedness would plunge us into a whole quagmire. We have grown up knowing to be sensitive to others, especially those we fear and not respect. I refer to fear because fear is a one way phenomenon as opposed to respect which is a two way traffic We see this whole scenario in church sermons where we only listen but are not allowed to question. In short we are there to be seen and not to be heard.
The above example is how most of us have been socialized. We have been brought up in families whose figureheads we have learnt to fear over time. We have over time acquired double personalities where we exemplify the good admirable qualities while near our good families but can as well be a whole lot of different personalities while away. We live different lives in the city for instance but totally live differently the few times we go visiting our rural forks. We benchmark our standards by changing goal posts so much that we have become strangers even to our own selves. This whole fact has been embodied even in our churches and institutions of governance. This is the hypocrisy of our day to day lives.
However those who choose to be true to their own selves are seen as being wayward and may not be acceptable in society. Being true to own self makes one to live a fulfilling life; a life where they know that they are not answerable to any one and where they are fully responsible for their own action. They call themselves independent and give meaning to the very word.
In life we have standards and norms. These so called standards and norms are the yardstick against which we are judged by society. This yardstick is different from one community to the other, from one society to the other, from one family to the other and from one hood to the other. However we also acknowledge that in life we must also have deviants. Deviants are just a natural phenomena in any system and every system has its own way of dealing with its deviants. That is what makes the system whole. Any deviation that can cause individual harm can also cause harm to the whole system.
We can only conclude that there is no perfect system or no perfect component within any system. That is why there are checks and balances, monitoring and evaluation. However good and bad are only relative to individual, society, family, community, organisation or system in question. All this can be very confusing and can put humanity at great conflict with each other.
One of the human needs we learnt at school is the need to be loved or to be likeable. This very need conflicts in actual sense with the desire for one self to be independent minded. Indeed even those who claim to be independent minded only do so in word but not in deed. Society has been coined in such a manner that real independent mindedness would plunge us into a whole quagmire. We have grown up knowing to be sensitive to others, especially those we fear and not respect. I refer to fear because fear is a one way phenomenon as opposed to respect which is a two way traffic We see this whole scenario in church sermons where we only listen but are not allowed to question. In short we are there to be seen and not to be heard.
The above example is how most of us have been socialized. We have been brought up in families whose figureheads we have learnt to fear over time. We have over time acquired double personalities where we exemplify the good admirable qualities while near our good families but can as well be a whole lot of different personalities while away. We live different lives in the city for instance but totally live differently the few times we go visiting our rural forks. We benchmark our standards by changing goal posts so much that we have become strangers even to our own selves. This whole fact has been embodied even in our churches and institutions of governance. This is the hypocrisy of our day to day lives.
However those who choose to be true to their own selves are seen as being wayward and may not be acceptable in society. Being true to own self makes one to live a fulfilling life; a life where they know that they are not answerable to any one and where they are fully responsible for their own action. They call themselves independent and give meaning to the very word.
Tuesday, 13 October 2015
TIME FOR PERSONAL RESOLVE
For a while now I have had some adequate time of personal reflection. I have had an opportunity to mingle with a sector that had been cut off from my life for over 15 years - the rural folk.
First my life had to make do with the rude shock of being out of employment after the major mothballing anouncement by my company in August 2014. This was to open up a new dimension in my life. Life presented me with not only a lot of options but also a myriad of ideas and fears as well. So in short I was supposed to learn and learn fast; I was to learn how to cope in the new environment otherwise known as new markets. I was to learn how to create good relations with the rural population. Though most importantly I was to learn how to create or identify business needs in this new environment and swiftly move to satisfy the said needs at a profit. In short I was to become an entrepreneur overnight.
And so I came up with business ideas and tried my hand on one or two ventures. However in my own findings I realised that our culture and traditions can be limiting as I have not been able to venture in areas where people get good money. Most of those are considered as not clean or morally thanks to my highly religious family background.
However it is a high time that I must make a great resolve which may not go down well with most of the people in my life but life has to move on.
Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me.
My appologies in advance incase I will step on any ones toes or rough them the wrong way while at it. May be we will just have to be pursuaded to believe that the more thing change the more they become the same.
First my life had to make do with the rude shock of being out of employment after the major mothballing anouncement by my company in August 2014. This was to open up a new dimension in my life. Life presented me with not only a lot of options but also a myriad of ideas and fears as well. So in short I was supposed to learn and learn fast; I was to learn how to cope in the new environment otherwise known as new markets. I was to learn how to create good relations with the rural population. Though most importantly I was to learn how to create or identify business needs in this new environment and swiftly move to satisfy the said needs at a profit. In short I was to become an entrepreneur overnight.
And so I came up with business ideas and tried my hand on one or two ventures. However in my own findings I realised that our culture and traditions can be limiting as I have not been able to venture in areas where people get good money. Most of those are considered as not clean or morally thanks to my highly religious family background.
However it is a high time that I must make a great resolve which may not go down well with most of the people in my life but life has to move on.
Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose me.
My appologies in advance incase I will step on any ones toes or rough them the wrong way while at it. May be we will just have to be pursuaded to believe that the more thing change the more they become the same.
Monday, 24 December 2012
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Saturday, 24 November 2012
WHO'S SMARTER?
Quite moving from anonymous.....
Last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. As our passion began to heat up she said,"I don't feel like it.I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"
She said,"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realising that nothing was going to happen that night,I went to sleep.
The next day I took off of work to spend time with her;we went out for a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go wit her new clothes, so I said,"Lets get a pair for each out fit."
We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement with excited anticipation.
Smiling with excitement she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,"No baby,I don't feel like it."
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,I added, "Why can't you just love me for who Iam and not 4 the things I buy you?"
I said, "WHAT?! What was that?!"
She said,"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realising that nothing was going to happen that night,I went to sleep.
The next day I took off of work to spend time with her;we went out for a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her as she tried on several very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to go wit her new clothes, so I said,"Lets get a pair for each out fit."
We went on to the jewelry counter where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet. I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement with excited anticipation.
Smiling with excitement she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,"No baby,I don't feel like it."
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"
I said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
Just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,I added, "Why can't you just love me for who Iam and not 4 the things I buy you?"
Monday, 29 October 2012
SOUNDS GOOD AND CONVINCING, DOESN"T IT??
Student: "Madam, a year has 365 days for you to study. After taking 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that's way too hot to work, so there are 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 144 days. If we fooled around for 1hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we're left with 126 days. We spend 2 hour for eating each day,30 days are used in these way in a year and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour speaking to friends and family, that takes 15 more days and we're left with 81 days. Exams and test takes up to at least 35 days in your year; therefore you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays you are left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you’re left with 3 days to study. Let’s say you miss class for only 2 days....you're left with 1 day. But that day is your birthday, you can’t study on your birthday!.....That's why I didn't study.
Sunday, 21 October 2012
WILL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES BE EFFECTIVE IN A CROWDED FIELD?
The Kenya Presidential Debates that are being organized by the media and set to kick off on November 26th may be one of the ways of interrogating how our presidential aspirants plan to implement their various manifestos if elected into office. We are in the era where we no longer need to be hoodwinked by colorful manifestos and blue prints which promise us heaven on earth without spelling out real roadmaps and means to achieve the same.
The core objectives of such debates are;
- to inform and involve voters in the political process
- to promote an issue based culture of political dialogue
- to shape the electorate to vote character and vision
The US presidential and vice presidential debates date back to the 1858 between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas. The Commission on Presidential Debates oversees this process and ensures that debates, as a permanent part of every general election, provide the best possible information to viewers and listeners. Its primary purpose is to sponsor and produce debates for the United States presidential and vice presidential candidates and to undertake research and educational activities relating to the debates.
It is a good thing that Kenya has finally decided to embrace this culture of debates. However it is quite a concern that we may not exhaustively engage the aspirants on the issues of national concern due to two issues:
1. We do not have an incredible national debating commission or institute to undertake research and highlight areas of concern by the electorate and compile a list of debate questions.
2. Our field of aspirants is so overcrowded that if it remains so then I am afraid the debates will not be effective and therefore will not meet their intended objectives. In short they will only be a mere parade of hopefuls.
(Currently in the race are Raila Odinga, Uhuru Kenyatta, Musalia Mudavadi, Kalonzo Musyoka, William Ruto, Charity Ngilu, Eugine Wamalwa and Moses Wetangula. Others are MPs Martha Karua , Peter Kenneth, Mutava Musyimi, and former Permanent Secretary Prof James Ole Kiyiapi.)
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